On monday I talked to my mom on the telephone. We talked about her prospects of the future. Last year she underwent surgery to remove a brain tumor, this was in the beginning of december. She was home for christmas. Last monday she learned that the braintumor had returned. I talked to her about the meeting this thursday where the specialists would evaluate her scans and condition and how to progress. We also talked about the pea soup I was going to make in a little while (this is a traditional Dutch winter food and with the beginning of spring this would likely be the last time for a while to eat it). I didn't want the conversation to have an entirely negative connotation so I brought up the soup. (My mom and I both love traditional Dutch winter food.)
This turned out to be the last conversation we would ever have as this morning she had a brain hemmorage, she slipped into a coma late in the morning and died minutes before me and my sister arrived this afternoon.
I am at my parents' now and it's slightly unreal. I am surrounded by her books and knicknacks. Knowing she will never get a chance to see them again.
Everyone has gone to bed and I am alone with the dog, wondering whether she too will someday realise that mom has gone.
At least we had a conversation about what we both loved and she didn't go through a long period of suffering in hospital.
Still... This sucks.
I am posting this from my mobile so I hope the link below is ok, I know my mom loved Dylan Thomas.
Dylan Thomas - Death Shall Have No Dominion